Leaving the Difficult Life Behind
From a hilltop in Arizona
The Hill, the Ashes, and the Full Moon
Here I am on about my tenth day in Arizona, watching another sunrise from the hill I keep climbing. Yesterday morning was something different though. There was full moon energy still in the air, and as the sun came up, I spread some of my mom's ashes near a cactus on this hill. Panoramic views of mountain ranges in every direction. Wildflowers, grasses, all of it spectacular.
Being up here with my mom after the journey we've been through together brought me back to something I said at her funeral. Something that has stuck with me since.
"We did not have a difficult relationship. We had a difficult life."
Sunrise over " Wild Oaks Farm" Sonoita, Arizona
And as of today, I am leaving that difficult life behind.
Here's the other piece of magic. I'm here in Arizona on my girlfriend's farm. A soul sister I hadn't seen in over thirty years. We found our way back to each other, and now we're walking this season together. She was right here with me yesterday for the ashes. Both of us witnessing each other, holding space for each other, supporting each other as we both leave the difficult life behind. She is my witness and my guide, and I am hers. That's not a coincidence. That's the universe putting the right people back in your path at exactly the right moment.
Muriel, owner of " Wild Oaks Farm" Sonoita, Arizona, Leo, me and Who'y spreading some of Moms Ashes at sunrise.
The Wreckage
There are circumstances in my life right now that stem from my past. Some sort of wreckage, you could call it. From a long stretch of decisions I made, financial, and life. At the time, I told myself those choices were made out of love. But really? It was fear and scarcity dressed up as love.
I was people-pleasing. Taking care of other people's business. Neglecting my own taxes, my house, my investments, my life. I made poor choices because I wasn't taking care of myself.
I leave that behind too.
There is no difficult life. Not anymore. Not for me.
Found my healing place in the Arizona hills!
Life Is Beautiful, And It's a Choice
Life is beautiful. This is the choice we make every single day.
I have already done the work of starting from scratch. I'm a few years in now, and I know in my bones that everything is happening for me, and it always was. It was just me who got in my own way. Me who blocked myself from the joy and the abundance.
My mom never fully tapped into that realm of love, joy, peace, and abundance. But she had moments of it. And I can tell you exactly where those moments came from. Her family and her husband. That was her doorway in.
I am here to carry on the work. To heal the ancestors. To heal myself. But more than that, to activate in us the best version of us. Leaving behind the wreckage of the lineage and the trauma. Moving forward. Watching sunrises. Watching sunsets. Living simply. Living in gratitude.
Thank you, Mom. For being such a great teacher of loving nature, and of how to connect to it. I love you. I miss you. And I know you'll find some peace up here on the hill. I'll continue to spread your ashes in places I know will bring you joy. Places that will become sacred spots for me to connect with you. Even though I feel you and hear you with me everywhere I go.
Missing and honoring my mom. ❤️
On the Road Again
I was grounded in New York for four months with my mom. Sacred months. Hard months. The kind of months that change you at the cellular level.
So when I tell you I've spent the past two weeks here in Arizona breathing, resting, watching sunrises and sunsets, walking this land, I mean it. I gave myself this space on purpose. Because I was in the role of co-caregiver and doula for my mom's transformation, and that kind of sacred work doesn't just end when the work ends. It lives in your body, your heart, your nervous system. You don't bounce back from being someone's doula across the threshold. You honor what you just walked through. So I gave myself two weeks. No apologies.
I haven't gone dark on the work, to be clear. I've been showing up for my new franchisor client. I've been there for my existing one-on-one clients. I've been holding space in my group coaching community. The building part of the business, that's what's on slow burn until after next week.
This Monday and Tuesday set the tone. Next week, I bring a gentle focus to the work. And the week after that, I dive deep, deep, deep into growing the business.
But not in the old way. Not from fear or scarcity or chasing.
From purpose. From wholeness.
I am here to help others awaken to the best version of themselves. To get unstuck. To get out of fear. To get out of scarcity. To let go of the shame. To be present. To be grateful. And I'm here to help people build businesses that support the life of their dreams. Because purpose without a structure to hold it is just a beautiful idea, and a business without purpose is just exhausting.
WE deserve both. WE deserve it all.
Here's where the road takes me from here:
End of this month: New York for my first franchise expo (already have a friend going, which feels like a sign)
Then: Possibly the Florida Keys, and Miami for business
Then: Dominican Republic to set myself up with a home base
Summer: Back to New York for time with my granddaughter
October and November: A full month in Hawaii
Winter: Colorado to snowmobile with my brother and back to AZ hopefully
Mom's Stuffed owl joining on all adventures!
Into the Unknown
Stepping into the franchise world as a newbie triggers imposter syndrome. And that is exactly how I know I am on the right path.
I want to BURST into the unknown. Heart wide open. Hands wide open. Eyes on what's coming next for me.
This is what stepping into purpose actually looks like in real time. It's not always pretty or planned. But it's moving. Opportunities have arisen all around me as I have grounded into creating space and time. We get to design our life.
For You
Maybe you have your own wreckage. Your own difficult life you've been carrying like it's yours to keep.
It isn't.
You can leave it behind. Today. Not next year. Not when the mess is cleaned up. Not when the timing is perfect. Today. You can start from scratch with the mess still there. You can choose joy in the middle of it. You can heal the line behind you and activate something better in the line ahead of you, starting with the very next breath you take.
And here's what I want to leave you with, because it's what this whole season with my Mom has taught me.
Allow it to be choiceless. Allow the next perfect step to come to you. Allow yourself to slow down. Align with the love that you already are. Align with your freedom. And then choose from that place. Not from fear. Not from scarcity. Not from the version of you that was running on empty.
That is the power you have. That is how it was always meant to be.
I'll carry on watching the sunrise. You keep going too.
With so much love from this hill.
Sending you love, light & prosperity from wherever I am today,
Jenn
Soulful Prosperity Field notes from a 55-year-old digital nomad while building a business that supports the life of my dreams.
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